Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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