He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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