Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
