why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
