We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
