the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
time to smoke my breakfast
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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