i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
