Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she peed on how many people?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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