Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
no more duck duck goose at the bar
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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