im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
