another moral hangover. fuck.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Randomize
