What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
