But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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