he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
