I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
