Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
