Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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