I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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