Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
