I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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