I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
