Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
