I don't usually arrange sex via text message
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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