this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
