so that wasnt chicken after all
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
