She said her name was "party"
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
