i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
