Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
