umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
