I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
