I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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