epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
