i just wanna soil my oats bro
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
