your room smells of hookers.
And success
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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