Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
