At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
How naked do you want me to be?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
