i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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