Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
