I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
