Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
