evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
