did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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