whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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