South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
