Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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