come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
