..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
