That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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