Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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