My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
