She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
