well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
